Monday, 24 October 2011

"Unintelligent Designer" More Like!

Been a while since my last update, this is partly due to life being relatively quiet and partly because I'd not come across any new creationists of note. Now I have, and oh boy are they quite the nest of vapid morons!

I speak of a Facebook group called “Intelligent Designer”, which for some reason the admin normally have set to 'private'. Presumably to keep out atheist plebeians like me, or indeed anybody who doesn't prescribe to the theory God created man from lump of dirt and woman from his rib.

Now, you can tell a page creator is a judgemental idiot when, upon adding you (for they vet every applicant), you are warned before even posting “Hello, I'm new here”. I was warned. The admin, Neill John Styles, said that it was clear from my homepage that I mock Christ and not to do so on his page. Erm, okay!?

Now look, yes, I'm an atheist. Actually, I'm anti-theist. I consider all organised religions to be the ridiculous clinging to anachronistic mythology and disorganised religions (what is the correct term?) to be generally harmless but no less rooted in the preposterous pandering to the credulous. But I don't tend to join creationist pages and immediately launch into a barrage of mocking Christ or, for that matter, other members. So I was somewhat taken aback that the admin had background checked me and then decided upon my character before I could even post! I don't presume every Catholic Priest I see is a paedophile, even if the odds increasingly appear to indicate they would be.

Maybe this put me in the wrong frame of mind when other members, ones that laughably profess to be Christians, decided that insults and mockery aimed at me were perfectly acceptable. Maybe it's because I've seen this behaviour from too many supposed Christians on other pages. Whatever the maybe, I wasn't in the mood for it.

What was the abuse aimed at me? Well, one 'Christian', called Brad Heilman, chose to say I was effeminate, like all British males. When I pointed out that it's not British sportsmen that pad themselves up to avoid breaking a fingernail I was called a “blooming idiot” because of the possibility of injuries. I think rugby players would have noticed by now if they were in constant mortal danger. American footballers, the US equivalent, wear so much padding you wonder if they're suffering elephantiasis. Similarly the US pads up baseball players whilst in the UK we have rounders, which is primarily played by little girls, without padding. Draw your own conclusions as to which are more effeminate! I digress, sorry. I hate sport anyway, I place it second behind religion as the biggest waste of brain time on this planet.

This effeminate label was to be an accusation levelled at me several times, including the accusation I was an 'effeminate coward'. Quite where he gets the idea I'm effeminate I do not know, he doesn't know me, he knows nothing about me. I might have long hair but that's hardly an indication, and it's been years since I last wore mascara (this is a joke). As to being a coward, which one of us was sitting behind a monitor on the other side of the world, safely coddled from the harm half the British males would doubtless do to him were he to say it to their faces? As with all internet bullies, for that is what he most surely is, he is at heart a coward. What is it about Christianity that breeds internet bullies? We, the atheists and evolutionists, encounter so many on Facebook.

It was after this encounter, and the total lack of intervention by the admin to stop such ad hom attacks, that I turned off my metaphorical 'give a flying fuck about your mocking Christ rule' censor. If you're ever in a similar situation I highly recommend this approach, it's remarkably cathartic. They're trying to get you out of a page so you may as well go out with a bang as a whimper. There were a couple of other posts so devoid of rationale and clearly the product of a challenged intellect that I couldn't forego the chance to let 'em know what I thought.

To give you some idea of the absolute lunacy on that page, they had a thread about the age of consent being lowered to 14. Now, let me make it clear, I oppose this. Personally I think the UK age of 16 is low enough given it allows more time for the slower to mature to do so, physically and emotionally. I said this on the page. In return I was asked by Brad, he of the effeminate accusation, what the gay age of consent was in the UK. I might be wrong, it may not have been a veiled attempt to insinuate I'm gay, but I doubt it. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, quite the contrary, but using it as an insult is hardly acceptable behaviour, especially for a Christian.

I'll skip to the leaving party now, you've got the idea of the level of intelligence prevalent within that group.

In the thread about the age of consent, Brad posted this wonderful example of misogynism.

No man wants a woman that has been with another man (or boy). Sometimes they settle for that but that is simply because in this fallen world which is corrupted by Satan, they have to. The time is now here when men shall be married but it is like they have no wife. Even bird know what a mate is supposed to be.

Oookay, if you say so Brad! I found this such a remarkably ignorant thing to say I just had to share it on my wall, where my ex-girlfriend read it and remarked.

Try finding a virgin who's any good at blowjobs ...then see who's right ;)

Call me evil, you'd not be the first, but I couldn't resist sharing this on their page. I got warned for it, inevitably. The one who warned me, Davies Dai, was ignorant enough in his warning to equate atheists with satanists. Bad move, pet peeve.

On that note, should Davies Dai ever stumble across this blog, let me explain something. I'm an atheist. I don't believe in any gods, none, so what makes you think I might believe in the fallen angel of your genitally inadequate (something has to explain the OT) god? Does a grown adult believe that Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer exists even though they don't believe in Santa? No, of course not. You're a cretin, Davies, an ignorant, obnoxious cretin.

Anyway, sorry, I got sidetracked, back to the leaving party. I responded to the warning, admittedly not that tactfully but by now I was so past caring I'd have needed satnav to find my way back to Givesafuckville. It was clear Davies was going to lobby for my removal so, hell, in for a penny in for a pound, as they say over here. I let rip. I'll not go into details, if you want to read the gory details you can see the screenshots I'll end this post with.

In closing, Intelligent Designer must rank up there as one of the vilest pits of fundamental bigotry, ignorance and intolerance it has been my displeasure to visit. Rarely have I encountered such an example of stomach churningly offensive, uneducated and downright mentally subnormal idiocy. Normally a creationist page has some redeeming features, the odd creationist who is reasonable and open to a serious, mutually respectable debate. Not ID. The vermin that frequent that page are some of the worst I have seen. They bring to mind Gandhi's line;

I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.

If those on the Intelligent Designer page are representative of the Intelligent Design movement in the US it is no wonder ID fails in the courts. They probably took one look at the pool of drool surrounding the feet of the proponents and wanted them out of the courtroom as quickly as possible, before they all drowned.

If I'm wrong, God exists and these are the people he wants up in Heaven then I'm having “anti-theist, God's a massive cock!” tattooed on my forehead, just so there's no mix up at the pearly gates. I want to be absolutely sure I don't get stuck for eternity with people like that!

Ah, that felt good!

Oh, and Christians, if you find the term 'blowjob' so offensive, why don't you find it offensive when your God tells his OT followers to dash open the brains of babies or force rape victims to marry their rapist, or any of the other morally reprehensible acts? Got your priorities slightly wrong, haven't you?

The answer to that question is “Yes, we have!”, btw :)

Oh, yes, one more thing. If you're going to run a page about Intelligent Design it might help if you learned what evolution was, how it works and how it has absolutely nothing to do with whether gods exist. This constant confusing of evolution with atheism is merely further evidence you are woefully and wilfully ignorant of the subject.


Think that's enough exposure to their drivel☺


  1. This is absolutely incredible. It never ceases to amaze me the level of hypocrisy that can be found in groups of theists that claim to literally be holier than thou. I am actually speechless (which is really quite the feat!)

  2. Haven't encountered that group - but have encountered a number of the people mentioned. To have them all in one place - a distilled version of creationism cretinism is scary. Let them have their closed groups I say - hide them behind closed doors. Keep them away from the rest of us.

  3. haha I just booted by Neil John Styles as I have very similar beliefs to yourself. A quick googling and I found your rant. It has just been linked onto ID to 99%'s amusement.


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