Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Religion for Godsake?

Gonna talk a little about something close to my heart …

If a person truly believed rain fell upwards we would think them mad. If a group of people believed, against all the evidence to the contrary, that the sky was green, we would rightly consider them at best slightly weird. It’s hopefully unlikely these groups of people actually exist outside our more padded institutions.

However, there was a time when people believed the solar system rotated around the Earth. To suggest this to be wrong was dangerous and you risked being the main course of a barbecue. Now, of course, we have all the evidence we need to prove the solar system is heliocentric; the planets revolve around the Sun. These days, nobody is flambĂ©ed for suggesting the Sun is the centre of the solar system – unless we really don’t like them, but that’s less to do with their astronomical views.

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Shooting People In The Face

I like shooting people. There, I’ve admitted it. I like nothing better than the visceral thrill of sneaking up behind somebody, pistol in hand, and putting a sunroof in the back of their skull. I’m often to also be found selecting a fast car to carjack then speeding through the streets, knocking people over and committing drive-bys with a semi-automatic. If I’m not on Earth then I’m frequently stalking the corridors of a mutant infested derelict spaceship, merrily blowing the limbs off of any creature that attacks me, watching in delight as it writhes at my feet. Why do I do these things? Because, at 38, I’m old enough to, that’s why.

Sunday, 13 September 2009

BBC License Fleece

 I recently upgraded to Sky+ HD, having had a compatible TV for some months but not the finances to afford it. I was looking forward to watching so many shows in stunning tiny pixelvision, many on the BBC. Oddly, considering the cost of the license fee, the BBC seems to be rather complacent about offering HD content.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Where Doctor Who goes wrong

Let's be honest; children with knives and/or other instruments liable to cause injury are scary. Without said items they become merely miniature versions of us, albeit oddly louder and often more insufferable.

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Premature Retailisation

I ventured into my local Sainsbury's today. Not a particularly unusual event for me, I'm often to be found in there as I have no life. What I saw this afternoon beggars belief; it's only September 10th and they already have a large display of Halloween merchandise on sale.

Arrogance at the wheel

Right, first proper post and it's a poo flinger - so we're off to a good start!

I live in North London. I drive a small car. I very often give way to oncoming traffic when the road is restricted, even when the highway code would dictate I have right of way. I wasn't aware that flashing your headlights, smiling or raising a friendly hand in recognition costs money.


As this is my first post I guess I should tell you a little about myself, and what to expect here.

I'm the Opinionated Primate, aka Steve. At the time of writing this I am 38 years old and, unless my plans change considerably, I will be 39 at the end of this year. Should those plans change it's unlikely this blog will be updated, for obvious reasons.

What can you expect from this blog? Views and opinions on pretty much anything; TV to news, computer games to films. This primate will tell it as he sees it, and won't shy away from throwing poo (as primates do) at anything, or anybody, he feels deserving.

So, that's about it. I hope you enjoy reading my little ramblings.